Romulus and Lollipop

One of my cats keeps tearing my flesh with his claws. Of course he's not to blame, I put my hand out when his tail is twitching side to side. That invites an attack and there's no use getting angry about it anymore. Instead, I give him a treat, and when he settles down I spend time with him on the kitchen floor. This usually holds his attention long enough for me to tell him how much I struggle each day and how I wish to bring him on the drives and walks and bicycle rides that have become my permanent model of proximal exploration in this age of fundamental misunderstandings.

The Exquisite Slum

Late last year I took work assessing the effectiveness of an experimental rust prohibitive for use on naval vessels. The company offered me an assistant to help with the task but I politely refused, citing a violation of principal. Two weeks into the work, I noticed some lower back pain along with increased social anxiety. I gave it one more week and withdrew from the project. In the report to my superiors I failed to document my findings properly, yet I received a bonus package far beyond anything I'd expected.